How Boring Would It Be...?

A couple of months back, my church invited a Senior Pastor from another State in the country to come minister to us. As we would be responsible for his hospitality (hotel & feeding), I was selected as the chosen one (**wink wink**) to handle that. OK, fine!… it was two of us. Well, on the first day, we served him chicken with sides of rice and plantain (general food). But on the second day, we decided to serve him one of his cultural foods. As I am from the same region as he is (South West- Yoruba), I was indisputably the right person to do that cooking. I decided to make him amala (made with plantain flour) and vegetable soup (Nigerians know what I’m talking about). Amala is native to the Yorubas (at least, some part), but vegetable soup is general to all Nigerians. What I didn’t know however, was that we (the Yorubas) prepared ours a bit differently from others. As I got set to cook the soup, my partner and her sister (who are not Yorubas) said they would like to watch how I cooked mine. As I cooked, I explained what I was doing, as a chef-in-the-making would (wink wink). I hadn’t gone past my second step when my partner’s sister got “disgusted” with how we cooked our soup, and she said, “Oh please, please, is this how you people cook your vegetable soup? It does not make sense. I don’t even want to know how you do it anymore. Oh oh, this is sth sth (can’t remember the words she used exactly).” 
At first, I was surprised she thought it was not good, or that it didn’t make sense. Seconds following my surprise, when she wouldn’t stop, I was disgusted by her disgust. One funny thing is she’s the only one who I know dislikes the way we cook that soup. She didn’t even care to taste it. John C. Maxwell in his book, Winning With People, said, “If Bob has a problem with everybody; Bob is usually the problem.” I guess my partner’s sister was the problem here. Second funny thing is that I have eaten the food she and her sister offered me several times, not because I thought it was delicious, but because they said it was their cultural food, and they were always very happy offering it to me. It didn’t matter to me that my taste buds noticed the unfamiliar taste and didn’t welcome it much, or that my eyes didn’t find the foods particularly appealing. I ate with the love of Christ. And lastly, the way they described how they cooked their own vegetable soup seemed weird to me too, but I never considered it worse than my people’s method. The thought didn’t even cross my mind.

You see, we live in a world where people think you’re “abnormal”, “weird”, “not-fitting-in”, “second-class citizens” if you are not like them? If we’re honest with ourselves and take a moment to consider it, we’ll come to realize that variety [differences] is what makes our world really beautiful. The Bible says that God made ALL THINGS beautiful in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:11); and that He made ALL these things for His own pleasure (Revelation 4:11). We act sometimes like God was clueless when He put variety in the world. 

Imagine how boring it would be if all the waters in the world were rivers – just rivers. That is, no seas or oceans, no fountains or waterfalls, no aquifers, no springs, no the-Grand-Canyon (gasp!) – Nothing more, just rivers.

Imagine how boring it would be if all the cars in the world were Mercedes; and that everyone was an Automobile Engineer by profession.

What fun is it if everyone spoke only English? No Mandarin, no Hindi, no Yoruba or Hausa or Igbo. French doesn’t exist, neither does Latin or Spanish or Afrikaans; the Kenyans don’t speak Swahili, and native speakers don’t speak Creole. Imagine if everyone spoke with a British accent. What fun would it be?

I weigh 72kg (most times), wear American Size 12, and I don’t think my weight is a problem at all; but there are a lot of people who think I should feel awful for seeing nothing wrong with my weight. So, what if I weighed 100kg and wore 22W or if I weighed 50kg and wore Size 2 or 4? Who determines the right weight - the weight that makes you a human being or less of a human being? Or who says the beautiful person is the skinny one and the fat person is just “OK” or not even good enough? 

Am I speaking out of place? I don’t think so. People fear to point it out, but we all know that in Hollywood, Bollywood, Nollywood, and all-other-woods the skinny actor/actress gets the good roles, while the overweight one gets mostly the crappy roles. 

I had a conversation with my friend few weeks ago, and he was telling me about a girl who wasn’t pretty before, but now he thinks she looks good. My reaction: Say what? She was ugly before and got pretty overnight? If you asked me, I’ll say something was wrong with his eyes when he looked at her the first time. By the way, who decides who’s pretty and who’s not? Who created the pretti-o-meter of the world? How do people determine the prettier one from the less pretty one? The Bible says God made ALL THINGS beautiful in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). If you’d ask our Manufacturer, I know He’ll say we are all good and beautiful, created in His image and likeness, just the way He planned it (Genesis 1:26-28, 31). 

A little over a month ago, I taught a lesson in my church on Forbearance (Colossians 3:9-17; Ephesians 4:1-3). I focused on the “tolerance” meaning of forbearance. People don’t have to be like us. The mistakes people make, the imperfection, incompleteness, and all the not-like-us things that we see in others are what spice up the world and make it beautiful, giving pleasure to our Creator. 

If everyone was like you – looked like you, talked like you, thought like you, ate the foods you ate, etc like you, I bet you wouldn’t want to stay in this world past your tenth birthday; because boring can be unbearable. I read in my devotional one morning that the only person who has the right to be proud and to think of himself better than others is a person who is entirely self-sufficient; and we all know there’s no such human alive on the earth. For starters, everyone breathes God’s air, so I need not explain to you how highly dependable-on-God we are as humans. Only God has the right to be proud, and even He isn’t (Psalm 8:4-5). He comes down to our lowly state and sees us as His friend, regardless of color, size, age, looks, our imperfection, etc. We, as God-carriers, should do same for others.

Dear Readers: HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Readers,

As my blog name, Temi’s Race, implies, I have kept up with telling y’all about my experiences and inspirations on this Christian journey; many times, ending those experiences with words of exhortation and encouragement to you. This post is no different, except that today, I need counsel from y’all.

Here it goes:

This year has been very tough – really tough – for me. I don’t want to talk about anything in detail now. [I plan a 7-day series on “2014 in Retrospect,” where I’ll share my major experiences and learnings this year. I plan that for the last week of the year, December 25-31. So, please, watch out for that]. Pending that time, however, one of my this-year-has-been-very-tough-for-me experiences has to do with rejection. I “suffered” two major bouts of rejection this year. One was such a hard blow, it threw me into utter confusion for weeks (I’m still confused, but I’m rising above). The other one came slowly, quietly, and craftily. Whether the intention of the sources of these two instances was rejection or not, I don’t know. Bottom line is that it felt like it – I acknowledged it and it hurt – it really really hurt.

Many months after, I have come to realize that I’m really scared of being rejected again. Knowing this, I cannot but seek help from y’all, my friends. I know that the fear of rejection can lead to several unpleasant things; one of which is compromising your faith just to please people and be accepted by them. OF COURSE, I’m not there yet, and I don’t want to get down to that level ever. So, pleaaassseeee, what practical steps can I take to deal with this? HELP ME!

Please, don’t fail to drop a word or more in the comment session below. I promise to consider all the counsels and put into action the godly advice that you offer.

GOD BLESS YOU!

THANK YOU...

“Please…” “Thank you…” “I am Sorry…” Growing up, I was taught that these are the most important words anyone can say – some call it “magical words”. Personally, I have never found it difficult to say any of these words whenever I need to. I’m not sure why. I’m guessing probably because my siblings and I had very good upbringing – I mean “veeerrrryyy gooood”, if you know what I mean. My parents took discipline very seriously. When we deserved to be disciplined, we were disciplined. When we didn’t deserve discipline, we were disciplined. While dad chose words as his preferred weapon, mom used sticks. Apparently, she took the words of the Teacher in Proverbs 22:15; 23:13 literarily and very very seriously. I could choose to be bitter about those times, but now in 2014, looking at how we all turned out, I think every lash – whether with words or with sticks – was totally worth it. 

Anyway, because of how easy it has been for me to use these “magical words” when appropriate, I deem it highly uncourteous when people aren’t humble in making requests, appreciative, and/or apologetic. I expect a “please” to come before any request, a “thank you” or “great job, Temi” after a good deed, and an “I’m sorry” if I am wronged. A couple months back, however, I realized that I didn’t just expect people to say those words; I kinda expected a little more – more than I deserved. 

So one day, when I was beginning to feel like I deserved a “thank you, Temi” or “great job, Temi” for everything I did, I said a little prayer. I said, “LORD, please, help me to be able to do a good deed without expecting any appreciation.” Not like appreciating a good deed is wrong. No, it isn’t. I will teach any child to always say “thank you” when they need to. But I saw a need for me to do selfless service and ascribe ALL the glory to God for everything He does through me (Philippians 2:13). Anyway, just to point this out, the LORD answered almost immediately – the next Bible Study I taught, only the Holy Spirit said “great job, Temi.” At first, I was disappointed, but I quickly remembered the prayer I’d prayed, and that made me smile instead. I also was a bit worried that the people were not blessed, but when I heard “great job, Temi” from the inside, I was satisfied. That was the first “noticeable” time. Subsequent times weren’t as easy. Making that request to God made me conscious of just how much I needed to be appreciated or “recognized” for any good thing I did. Strangely though, I do feel uncomfortable when people are “highly” appreciative for a little act of kindness done by me; nonetheless, I realized that I still wanted them to be grateful - really grateful. Maybe I felt a thrill in the discomfort or maybe it made me happy that I was a blessing to someone, or maybe… just maybe anything... I’m not sure. All I know is that I liked it much, and I wanted to stop liking it. That was why I prayed. I sincerely desired to get to the level where I could truly, honestly, and wholly attribute all glory to God for whatsoever that He does through me.

Some weeks ago, while I pondered on this situation (yes, it had become a “situation”…lol), I heard the words of Matthew 5:16 – “Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works, and GLORIFY YOUR FATHER WHICH IS IN HEAVEN.” Boom!!!… The glory wasn’t for me anyway. It’s my light shining, and it’s my good works being done, but it’s NOT my glory. Making that request to stop expecting “thank you” was totally in line with the word of God. So, any “thank yous” I receive are just bonuses and not my right. Only God has the right to be told “thank you” and to receive “thank you”; for it is Him who works in us to do anything at all that deserves “thank you”. Choosing to be used by Him is something we should be grateful for. As far as God is concerned, He will bless and reach out to His people regardless of who He uses. Being a vessel in His hands is all the “thank you” we need.

Again, don’t get me wrong. It is good to be appreciative. It is a courteous act that everyone should imbibe. However, we must be careful not to want it so much to the extent that it changes our minds towards doing something nice for people the next time. Some of us withhold good from people because the last time we did something for them, we didn’t receive the level of appreciation we expected. This should not be so! Only God deserves to be praised. We are just vessels in His hands, and it is a privilege to be used of Him. At least, that is what I think… :)