THANK YOU...

“Please…” “Thank you…” “I am Sorry…” Growing up, I was taught that these are the most important words anyone can say – some call it “magical words”. Personally, I have never found it difficult to say any of these words whenever I need to. I’m not sure why. I’m guessing probably because my siblings and I had very good upbringing – I mean “veeerrrryyy gooood”, if you know what I mean. My parents took discipline very seriously. When we deserved to be disciplined, we were disciplined. When we didn’t deserve discipline, we were disciplined. While dad chose words as his preferred weapon, mom used sticks. Apparently, she took the words of the Teacher in Proverbs 22:15; 23:13 literarily and very very seriously. I could choose to be bitter about those times, but now in 2014, looking at how we all turned out, I think every lash – whether with words or with sticks – was totally worth it. 

Anyway, because of how easy it has been for me to use these “magical words” when appropriate, I deem it highly uncourteous when people aren’t humble in making requests, appreciative, and/or apologetic. I expect a “please” to come before any request, a “thank you” or “great job, Temi” after a good deed, and an “I’m sorry” if I am wronged. A couple months back, however, I realized that I didn’t just expect people to say those words; I kinda expected a little more – more than I deserved. 

So one day, when I was beginning to feel like I deserved a “thank you, Temi” or “great job, Temi” for everything I did, I said a little prayer. I said, “LORD, please, help me to be able to do a good deed without expecting any appreciation.” Not like appreciating a good deed is wrong. No, it isn’t. I will teach any child to always say “thank you” when they need to. But I saw a need for me to do selfless service and ascribe ALL the glory to God for everything He does through me (Philippians 2:13). Anyway, just to point this out, the LORD answered almost immediately – the next Bible Study I taught, only the Holy Spirit said “great job, Temi.” At first, I was disappointed, but I quickly remembered the prayer I’d prayed, and that made me smile instead. I also was a bit worried that the people were not blessed, but when I heard “great job, Temi” from the inside, I was satisfied. That was the first “noticeable” time. Subsequent times weren’t as easy. Making that request to God made me conscious of just how much I needed to be appreciated or “recognized” for any good thing I did. Strangely though, I do feel uncomfortable when people are “highly” appreciative for a little act of kindness done by me; nonetheless, I realized that I still wanted them to be grateful - really grateful. Maybe I felt a thrill in the discomfort or maybe it made me happy that I was a blessing to someone, or maybe… just maybe anything... I’m not sure. All I know is that I liked it much, and I wanted to stop liking it. That was why I prayed. I sincerely desired to get to the level where I could truly, honestly, and wholly attribute all glory to God for whatsoever that He does through me.

Some weeks ago, while I pondered on this situation (yes, it had become a “situation”…lol), I heard the words of Matthew 5:16 – “Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works, and GLORIFY YOUR FATHER WHICH IS IN HEAVEN.” Boom!!!… The glory wasn’t for me anyway. It’s my light shining, and it’s my good works being done, but it’s NOT my glory. Making that request to stop expecting “thank you” was totally in line with the word of God. So, any “thank yous” I receive are just bonuses and not my right. Only God has the right to be told “thank you” and to receive “thank you”; for it is Him who works in us to do anything at all that deserves “thank you”. Choosing to be used by Him is something we should be grateful for. As far as God is concerned, He will bless and reach out to His people regardless of who He uses. Being a vessel in His hands is all the “thank you” we need.

Again, don’t get me wrong. It is good to be appreciative. It is a courteous act that everyone should imbibe. However, we must be careful not to want it so much to the extent that it changes our minds towards doing something nice for people the next time. Some of us withhold good from people because the last time we did something for them, we didn’t receive the level of appreciation we expected. This should not be so! Only God deserves to be praised. We are just vessels in His hands, and it is a privilege to be used of Him. At least, that is what I think… :)